2 more weeks

To exams. And here I am. One year almost over and inevitably, the thoughts come. WHt was I thinking-to not have done more, to not have tried harder, to not have put so much sugar in the Irish cream cheesecake I tried out just 10 mins ago, to not have dared to do this, that and the other.

Typical end-of-year looking back. Maybe I should save this for when I'm back home in Malaysia, since that'll mean I'm safe from any exam repercussions. I could still fail. No denying that.

Meanwhile, as the cake is browning way ahead of schedule(switched the heat down but think I may have just ruined it by now), a lot is being made recently of the working permit rule. It's the thing that's on everyone's minds nowadays, and the petition website is the new place to make a statement, as my friends back home have pointed out to me (thanks Jin and Joy!). Funny thing is, I think there's more than one list floating around, cos since having signed it a few days ago, I can't find my name on it anywhere now..

As I understand it, the new rule makes it harder for international (non-EU) grads to find jobs as local grads will be considered first. Unless you are fortunate enuf to have a PR in the UK, or you are involved in a research fellowship like the doctor I was shadowing the other day, or you've been working here 10 years, understandably, anyone would be worried. And judging from the response on the petition list, and from my friends(both local and msian), most consider this new ruling to be, in a word, unfair.

It was with some shock, then, that I discovered my own reaction to this, was strangely apathetic. Maybe its cos I have exams in 2 weeks(and whats the point if i can't work here right?), maybe its cos I haven't thought that far ahead(come on...2 more years...wake up jon!) or maybe its cos I'm just plain lazy(irresponsible statement alert!), or maybe... somewhere deep down, the fact that God is still in control, and where He's gonna place me, is what really matters.

i'D like to think its the last reason thats causing me not to jump up and down with indignation, to not join in every last rally against the ruling, to not be called irresponsible and irrational for not considering how much my parents paid to send me over here, and instead take it day to day. I know ppl are definitely going to be affected, some may have to make life-changing decisions to move back, some may have to make sacrifices for others. i'D like to think too, that God is bigger than that, and (gasp!) that He'll take care of everyone, for unlike Bruce Almighty, He IS big enough.

Maybe I'll look into it more during the holidays/future/4th year/friends talks and seniors discussions and get worried and incensed at the amount of worry the government seems to be putting everyone through, but for now, I'll leave it.


UPDATE: i did ruin the cake, by browning the top too much and not turning it down to bake the inside enuf. Note to self. follow instructions word-for-word next time.