Thoughts

Just the other night, I was walking to a bus stop feeling frustrated. Went to a meeting spot for ppl attending hall meetings for Christian Union about 10 mins late. My fault, I know, but I was cooking that night and not being a very good one, ended up prolonging the process.. So having reached the chaplaincy(thats where we were supposed to meet) and finding no one there, I decided to go to Asda to get a cake.

Which brings me to the scene that I brought up above... a slightly begruntled young chap with his collar turned up from the cold and having a slight cold himself, walking towards a bus stop on a chilly evening.

Probably due to my grumpiness and my inner desire to not go home without having done something purposeful...a thought came in; whoever is at the bus stop, I'm going to try to be friendly to him/her....maybe tht's why I didnt get to go for the hall meeting...cos there's someone that needed a friendly ear at the bus stop. (Ok, hold your comments till the end of the post, k?). So with these thoughts in my mind, I reached the bus stop.

The wierd chant reached my ears before my eyes looked up to behold an old woman with a bright pink wig and really hard plastic shoes. She was chanting what sounded like a movie soundtrack 'ba ba ba dum dum dum' and another, younger lady was chanting with her, smiling at her as if to pacify her. Besides the two of them, there was an old man with a disfigured mouth looking like it needed a set of false teeth badly, and two other young men warmly wrapped up against the cold.

The old lady was trying to get the old man(whom apprently seemed to be her husband) to sit next to her, But he kept declining. And as I neared the scene, a wierd smell reached me. It smelled like leather gone bad from having being left in the rain, togther with some other scent which I tried in vain to identify. First impression: a very incongruous scene...I found myself shying away from the woman even though she'd not said anything to me yet. I managed a smile at her but inwardly I was hoping she wouldn't ask me to sit beside her. It was quite a long wait for the bus. The old woman gabbled on to the younger woman beside her who obviously knew her, though what she was saying was anybody's guess. From time to time she would break out into the chant I'd heard at first.

And as I stood slightly out of the circle of light thrown out of the bus stop, thoughts just came in.

Why was it I found it so hard to love ppl like these?

Why in the world am I being so put off by wierd smells and wierd chants and wierd looking wigs?

And here I am with all my talk about going into the mission field as a doctor...while I'm having difficulty loving ppl not 500 metres from my flat..

Will I be able to love ppl the way Jesus loves them?


I'll admit a lot of what I was thinking was not really justified and that I'd no right to second guess God and His plans for me and feel bad about doing so.. But the picture of the woman stayed with me after I'd got the cake and gone home and sung happy birthday with the rest..

Jesus loves her too.

How far will I actually dare to go for Him?