Pride

From the book "The Final Quest" by Rick Joyner (Whitaker House, 1997, pgs. 53-55)

'I was pondering how I was learning as much by descending the mountain as I had by climbing it when the noise from the battlefield drew my attention. By now there were thousands of the mighty warriors who had crossed the plain to attack the remnant of the enemy horde. The enemy was fleeing in all directions, except for the one division, Pride.

Completely undetected, it had marched right up to the rear of the advancing warriors, and was about to release a hail of arrows. It was then that I noticed the mighty warriors had no armor on their backsides. They were totally exposed and vulnerable to what was about to hit them.

Wisdom then remarked, "You have taught that there was no armor for the backside, which meant that you were vulnerable if you ran from the enemy. However, you never saw how advancing in pride also made you vulnerable."

I could only nod in acknowledgement. It was too late to do anything, and it was almost unbearable to watch, but Wisdom said I must. I knew that the kingdom of God was about to suffer a major defeat. I had felt sorrow before, but I had never felt this kind of sorrow. To my amazement, when the arrows of pride struck the warriors they did not even notice. However, the enemy kept shooting. The warriors were bleeding and getting weaker fast, but they would not acknowledge it. Soon they were too weak to hold up their shields and swords; they cast them down, declaring that they no longer needed them. They started taking off their armor, saying it was not needed anymore either.

Then another enemy division appeared and moved up swiftly. It was called Strong Delusion. Its members released a hail of arrows and they all seemed to hit their mark. Just a few of the demons of delusion, who were all small and seemingly weak, led away this once great army of glorious warriors. They were taken to different prison camps, each named after a different doctrine of demons.'

Bold letters mine.

From my mailbox

My cousin has a band! How cool is that??

Just received 4 tracks today in the mail...not something I see every day.. If so inclined, check them out here.

They are a french band with elements of rock...the full intro to the band is on the site.

Scotland

Salem advert

I think Scottish people are nice, on the whole. Though they must have wondered a bit whe 6 chinesy-looking dudes watlzed into their territory and started taking pictures of everything, doing weird stuff all the while.

I think Scottish scenery is nice too. I must have taken more photos here than anywhere else, and I wish I had a Canon with a faster shutter speed and night vision with me(yes Alex, its the camera's problem). There were just so many wow moments especially during the earlier part of the trip before we became immune to them. Talk about an intelligent and purposeful Creator!

Scottish food, aside from the the fried Mars bars, we tried haggis as well. Jack had his salmon whiile the rest ate beef and venison. Other than that, it was sandwiches all the way; we were on a road trip, after all.

Things I enjoyed particularly: meeting up with the Dundonians, the Edinburghers, and the Glaswegians, playing Dota with Alex, Bobby, Jack and Ed, tasting wines made from local herbs and fruits, a summer snowball fight on the slopes of the Nevis Range, Dunwegan Castle, Easter Service in DCCF(Aiky's church in dundee), rolling down Arthur's Seat, Agne's tiramisu in Glasgow, seeing the Glenfinnan Viaduct featured in the Harry Potter movies(where the train goes to Hogwarts), getting firsthand info on how to use a Highland dirk, pistol and blunderbuss and laughing at each other in the car all the way aroudn Scotland.

Thank God we got back safely. Most of the photos are gonna be on my Multiply site. Will only limit myself to a few here.

In 9 Castle with friends

The winner of the British Open Golf tournament stands on this bridge with his trophy

A loch and a castle

All ready to go

Something I Thought About

"This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."-George Bernard Shaw

Gosh, can I say that of myself honestly? And to whoever's reading this, if you knew me before, what would you say the driving force of my life is? I'd like to hear your honest comments. Don't worry, I won't bite:-) Really.

If this sounds familiar, it's cause I'm starting Purpose Driven Life from day 1. Would you believe I never got around to finishing it?

I know its late

A group of molecules, coming together at just the right time and temperature, with just the right amount of nutrients, all while remaining in an unstable world, made up a cell. This cell would grow and multiply, while fires crashed around it, during the cold winters and the extreme temperatures of the unstable planet called Earth. Grow and multiply into a multi-celled organism. Which as time went on, would become accustomed to living in the water. It would grow bigger and eventually evolve lungs so as to be able to live on land. And once on land, it would grow legs fit to carry and support its weight without the bouyancy effect of water to help it. And from four legs to two, from claws and pincers to arms and hands. From a cold creature of the deeps, to a warm-blooded mammal, soon to form the ability to communicate with each other in grunts. And as time grew on, would learn to make inteligible noises, discover it had a brain, learn to count and make fire, to kill each other rather than other animals for food. To grow up from living in caves to trees to communities to huts, sheds, houses, towns and cities. Till the day came when the word 'human' was first used to describe him. Humanity, from a chance collision of molecules, was created by a lucky accident.

***

A human body(according to the Full Metal Alchemist) is made out of 35L of water, 20kg of carbon, 4L of ammonia, 1.5kg of lime, 800g of phosphorus, 250g of salt, 100g of saltpetre,80g of sulphur, 7.5g of fluorine, 5g of iron, 3g of silicon, and trace amounts of 15 other elements. It was formed out of those components exactly, all of which were found in the composition of Earth. And it was introduced into an environment which was just right for it, having just enough oxygen, carbon dioxide and hydrogen for it to breathe normally without any toxic effects. All it needed to survive; air, water, warmth and light, were there in abundance, yet not in overabundance so as to be harmful to it. And as a final touch, humans were made male and female to provide the missing link: companionship. Humanity was planned in advance, the conditions around were ready to support its life when it was created.

***
As two friends turn older, and approach that period of life where responsibilities come flooding in, it's easy to forget our origins and be overwhelmed by all that we need to do and to be. Different people will have different views, but if we're planned in advance, we also have a purpose. For isn't that why plans are made in the first place? To fulfil a purpose?

SO Ian and Raymond, ex-ECF mates, disciplers, soon-to-be medic colleagues and brothers-in-Christ, my prayer is that your purpose; what you were created for, will be made clearer to you in the year to come. Have a good 2006/7!

Haha am spending the last hour before my last paper blogging. Why? Cos its a mock exam. Cos I know it's gonna be hard. And cos I've found out what I've been doing wrong all this while.

Finals will be a different story, God willing.

And Thanks for making me humble again....I really have got a long way to go.

All Things New

It's a verse in a Bible, immortalized in a Steven Curtis Chapman song. It's also very very true.

My Sunday mornings are something like this:

Woke up, at 8am by alarm, slept till 9am. Made a cup of coffee from my fast dwindling stock of Ipoh White Coffee and did the day's chapter on Experiencing God(courtesy of Bern). At 9.30, Ed says Wilson is coming to pick us up for church, which he does. Along the way, we see various other ppl walking, and end up with picking Ben, Julia and reaching church just as Erik leads the congregation in "Blessed Be Your Name". As 7 of us pile into church, the pastor, John Isherwood greets us and TaiBo who's on drums flashes a grin at us.

The songs are all familiar today, and for the first time in a while, I'm near the front, singing my heart out to a God who listens, and speaks right back to me. During the song "There Is None Like You", the thought just comes unbidden to me; truly, there is no one that touches me like how God does. As I look back, the times I've cried, the times I've doubted, the times I've felt His comfort so palpably, the times I've been driven to trusting Him in order to move forward, the times I've been open and honest, have all been with Him. No one else in my life has shared ALL these emotions with me, or has been with me throughout them all. Truly He's worth the long hard search.

Later, as John Isherwood speaks on prayer and Luke 11:1-13, I start making notes to make sure I don't fall asleep. He asks us to think for a moment that prayer is like breathing. He then goes on to say that the Greek word for 'breath' is the same as 'spirit', as in the Holy Spirit. And if the Holy Spirit is in each one of us, addressing Him should be like breathing, and as regularly. Another truth comes to light. He goes on to mention Daniel, whose prayer of thanksgiving caused him to be put in danger(Daniel6:10) and Jabez, whose boldness in prayer was given honourable mention in the Bible(1 Chron 4:9).

As the service ends, I cannot help feeling refreshed, despite the fact I have exams tomorrow, that things didn't go the way I expected a few days ago.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

I am angry

Dithered a bit on writing this post but decided to do it cos will be feeling the aftereffects for at least tmrw as well. And all in the name of being honest rite?

I am bloddy angry. Or well angry, as they call it here.

Angry because? Well, that things didn't go the way I thought it would go, that the message didn't get through, that certain things were not explained, that so many things seemed left to chance, that loose ends were not tied up and that basically, things could have been so much better.

Yup thats probably why i'm feeling this way. Cos we are capable of so much better than this. with a little bit more planning, a little bit more explaining, a LOT more prayer, a....

Frustrated, so much so i'm having to retype so much just to get my words legible. Physical frustration knowing what could have been, and what actually happened.

Oh i know the solution....that things turned out according to God's plan, that the seeds were planted. Sometimes though, i wonder if thats not just an excuse to cover our asses and not admit that Yes, a bit more care and planning and communication would have gone a long way. Till i remember that:

I am part of the team involved

I am also to blame for my forgetfulness

I am to blame for not waking up to the fact that distractions (Satan the opportunity taker) were occurring and

Not doing my bit to stand in unity with everyone

But instead admit defeat, looking at how things were going

And at the end, knowing I had the chance/ability/choice to make things better.

So in the end, with all the above, I'm also very very very angry with myself.

arrgh

Hope

A running DOTA fight in between towers. 5vs5, -ar, mid-game and the first blood's just been called. Drow ranger, treant protector and Omni are defending against lich, Axe, Mortred and Shadow fiend, but are being pushed back due to the ranged frost attacks of the Lich and superior numbers on the Scourge side. Treant protector uses his last bit of mana to activate shields for himself and Omniknight while Drow ranger holds off the Lich with her arrows to cover the retreat. They are halfway back when suddenly words appear onscreen "Zeus and Chen missing watch your back" The two aforementioned heroes, Zeus the Lord of Olympia and Chen the Holy Knight burst from a clump of trees and bear down on Lich, and Shadow Fiend. In a second, Chen converts a group of creeps and Zeus brings down Lich and Axe to half health. Mortred has disappeared and shadow fiend is retreating. The tide has turned.

**

Seeing 2 out of 3 go wrong isn't bad, but when you're writing case notes for a SHO in the emergency room, you really do want to get all the patient's details down. I've sat with the patient and got as much info out of her as I thought I should need, but when the doc asks me, I am struck dumb. Why didn't I think of that? comes to mind fairly frequently. Humbled, I go ask the patient a few times more before getting an "OK" from the SHO who then, to my uttermost surprise, proceeds to discuss the case with me and how she should be managed. Finally, he types out a prescription and hands it to me. "Er.." I hesitate. "Go on, she's your patient isn't she?" the SHO says with a wink. Wow. He must have remembered what being a medical student was like.

**

Down in the beleaguered city of Gondor, knights cowered in fear as flames broke out through the city. Only a few were left shooting at the massed ranks of orcs surrounding the city. Even as more siege towers were hauled into place, the ancient creature's head, Grond, was being brought to bear on the city gate. Fire burned in its mouth, and cave trolls wielded it. They swung once, but the gates of iron and the posts of steel withstood the blow. Then the Witch-King uttered words from some long-forgotten tongue and Grond swung again. The gates shivered and fell at the third stroke. Under that hallowed archway, where no enemy had passed for over a hundred years, rode the Witch-King. In the courtyard, a single figure awaited. Gandalf upon Shadowfax, who alone of the Free horses of the world could stand the terror that awaited. As the Witch-King raised his hand to strike, a cock crowed from some nearby henhouse, caring nothing for the war, but only welcoming the breaking of day. And at that moment, as if in answer, horns blew wildly and fiercely in the east. Rohan had come at last.

**

Huddled in an upper room not far from Gethsemane, five dishevelled people tried to make sense of what had just happened. They'd just been woken from sleep to see their master being arrested and taken off. Peter was the only one to put up a fight, but even then, Jesus had stopped him before he did any real harm. Only now did they recall Jesus' words when he said he would be betrayed and handed over to his enemies. They looked back to the last dinner they had together, and shuddered when they recalled Jesus talking about 'his body being broken'.

Later, as they were told about Jesus and how he suffered at the hands of the soldiers, some struggled to make the connection. Didn't he just come into the city yesterday where the crowds welcomed him like a war hero? Others were slightly more optimistic. "Maybe it's one of his miracles. He's going to save himself somehow, and make all the authorities look silly as usual. You wait and see."

Everyone was shocked, however, when they heard from Peter and John that Jesus was really dead. Peter could hardly speak, it was obvious he felt guilty, but John sorrowfully gave his account. Everyone flinched as he described how the soldier thrust his spear into Jesus' side at the end, to make sure of his death. There was a stunned silence when John finished speaking. No one really knew what to do after that. A few thought of going back to their former jobs, but the rest were still in shock.

The next morning, everyone tried to muster up the strength to eat something. Some had already left during the night, but most of the disciples were still there. Someone said "You know how he would always pray every morning, all by himself?" Then the door burst open and 2 excited men came running in. In breathless tones they described how they'd been talking to a man who'd explained the Scriptures to them, and who they thought was Jesus!

'While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you." They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. He said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have." Luke24:36-39

**

In the midst of studying for my exam(which i really should be doing, and will get back to soon), i thot of writing about hope, so often understated in a world where pessimism seems to be gaining the upper hand, and where a hope for something better seems more and more a child's pipe dream better left behind as one gets older.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1Cor 13;13

*from a fictional game of DOTA, a posting to the ER, a book called the Lord of The Rings, which I had no time to find the original text of(don't sue me please), and the Bible with my own modifications on what the disciples might have done.*

Truth

Recently I've been reminded again and again how little I know about the world around. Do fish drink water? What does TOG measure? Has anyone looked for Noah's Ark? And on and on. With that in mind, have been driven to looking up online encyclopedias daily, looking for random entries that catch my eye. It's a lot better than spending 2 hours on DOTA in btw studying! Btw, had no idea the original DOTA map was designed by Eul, and that there's a secret involving missing frogs from one version of the game. But I digress.

In between looking through all these scraps, was again confronted with that immortal line by Pilate.."What is truth?" Of course, he said it in Latin(right?) and with old script fonts and all. My el cheapo answer off the top of my tongue, would be "God". And till now, I would think that would be the truth indeed. But looking at the different versions of stuff, and reading graceY's entry a few posts back, I've come to the conclusion I need to look harder, sift more, think harder, and accept less without comparing it to God's Word first. Of course, there are those that would say God also is on trial, that His truth isn't er....true. To those, then, I'd invite you on a journey of discovering the ultimate truth and ask that you consider a simple fact first:

Everyone believes in something, whether it's God, karma or oblivion. In the search for truth, none can claim to be truly objective and free from bias.

2 years to go till I graduate, and medical ethics remains a closed book.. sigh.