The Wait

Is going to be a long and anxious one. Part of the disadvantage of going overseas is you're never sure when you have to take an early flight back home for resits. Yup, exams are over, and I'm left with a slight(ok mayb a bit more) feeling of worry. Not for lack of trying, but maybe trying in the wrong direction. Like when I see how others know so much more that I maybe should have known, that I found questions hard when others tackled them routinely. Which culminates in the general feeling of not being on par with what's expected of me by the end of 3rd year. And which brings me back to the very real fact that I may be faced with an early flight back during summer. I hope not though.

Not that I found the papers extremely extremely hard, either. Just that there weren;t a lot of those moments when you know for sure that this IS the answer and had to guess based on what you knew. And as I told my housemates, when that happens, 50% of the time I'm wrong.

If there was ever a time to change from the pseudo self studying method that I've been in and out of since secondary school(its true), it's now. And if I make it 4th year, I hope that it's not going to be about passing exams, but of shouldering the responsibility of keeping other's lives safe.

Which really goes to show where I am on the way to becoming a doctor, I'm supposed to be halfway through, but am now having to play catch-up growth, like a poor IUGR baby.

Its all about You, Jesus,
And all this is for You
For Your glory and Your fame,
It's not about me,
As if You should do things my way,
You alone are God, and I will surrender
To Your ways.

Considering the way things went, I'm ashamed to even claim this song. But seeing as it really helped me through the uncertainty and worry, I'm going to keep right on singing it. And to all those who kept us in prayer, from all over the world, thank you. Really.