Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Of work and death.

4 days into the new year, and I find myself being busy for what has to be the first time since stepping into Liverpool. Its preposterous, but I think(together with the rest of the I3 people) that we're finally settling down to work after a four months of play and travelling(yes tim, seems there was an element of truth in that after all).

Anyway, I'm thankful to discover I can still work when faced with it. Tiring no doubt, but paeds promises to be fun, in a hard work sort of way. Our supervisor is really well organised, and we have a good mix of people to work with, so these 2 months should be fun.

CTM(my research exercise) is still giving me a headache though. The problem is that I have no way of checking what I'm doing, since my convenor has decided not to reply my mails. Comparing 3 therapies seemed a good idea at first, but the amount of background reading I've had to do is just horrendous. And when I find I have to divide the people tested by age and sex among other criteria, it creates too many variables to consider! And as much as I try not to think about it, I think I've approached the topic wrongly; instead of finding out why my research needs to be done, I've gone looking merely for something that has not been done before.

Just realised I'm not making much sense probably. Oh well, it's not as if research was something I was hot for anyway...

Have recently heard that one of my church leaders has been placed on life support following a sudden collapse over the New Year. Had no idea that acute pancreatitis could turn so bad so fast. Multi organ failure set in in a matter of days. He's going to be taken off life support tomorrow.
The thought has crossed my mind more than once: Is there any point to keep praying? Where should I draw the line? It's not as if death is the end.
The other side thinks: God has done the impossible before. He has brought the dead to life. He's capable of anything. Where's your faith?
And the third mind, which seems to kick in a lot recently, thinks: This is only the beginning..when you're a doc, death will come regularly. How will you deal with it then?

Well, we'll keep praying till thursday anyway. God's Will be done.

Time to get back to work.

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